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 Random Thoughts of the Day - 8/20/2009
I recently received this email forward, and figured plajorized content was better than no new content! Some of these remind me of Aaron Karo's Ruminations.
  1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
  2. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
  3. Remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow it, and that magically fixed the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know to do that? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
  4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  6. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  7. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Only if you suck at it.
  8. LOL has gone from meaning "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
  9. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile?
  10. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
  11. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
  12. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  13. I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
  14. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
  15. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
  16. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
  17. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  18. Watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering for both China and USA. I am not of Chinese descent, but I'm fairly certain that Chinese athletes who don't win are executed.
  19. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but I've learned from some light internet stalking.
  20. Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.
  21. As a driver I hate pedestrians; as a pedestrian I hate drivers. No matter my mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
  22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  23. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  24. Years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, if I find out that I'm sterile, my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
  25. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
  26. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

 Comments
Anonymous User - 8/26/2009 10:42:22 PM
they are from Aaron Karo- more specifically from his website ruminations.com

Richard Conklin - 2/8/2010 1:39:56 PM
I'm a subscriber and big fan of Karo, thus mentioning his name in the second sentence of the post. Some from this list have been user-submitted on his site, but I didn't see them in any of them in Karo's published archives.


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